Start with What you Know

I wanted my (also ADDled) husband to know more about the way things work around here, because his work schedule is so varied. This week, he could be working evenings and be home during our homeschooling hours. Next week he could be working mornings and be home for dinner. As a result, he felt an outsider in his own home because he never had time to fall naturally into the rhythms of the household. He found himself standing around a lot, asking me what he should do to "help." Of course he meant well, but I didn't want a helper. I wanted a fellow adult partner in making decisions and shepherding the children through their meals, lessons, and chores.

Because my husband has worked in restaurant kitchens all his adult life, his default modus operandi is something called a "prep list." So I took my basic household lists, charts, routines, and notes and used them to put together a "prep list" for my husband, just like he uses at work.

I think this could be extrapolated to anyone's husband, using something he uses so often it's second nature to him. The underlined words link you to a second list, or a "recipe" in restaurant speak. In a restaurant, the "prep list" would say "prepare twelve gallons tomato sauce" and the "recipe" would say exactly how that was to be done. On our household "prep list" it might say "clean up kitchen" and if you follow the link you would find a "recipe" for cleaning up the kitchen (e.g. -load dishwasher, -run soapy water in sink, -wipe d.r. table, etc.).

Our prep list is printed out in multiple copies. It occasionally needs to be tweaked, so we handwrite the changes on until we can edit it and print more. There are occasionally special things that need to be done, and we handwrite those in as well (just like in a restaurant kitchen, or so he tells me).

We don't try to do everything on the prep list every day. As things get done, they get crossed out with a sharpie marker, just like in a restaurant. If I've been to the grocery and Mike's been running the house, when I come home and Mike leaves for work, I can see from the day's prep list exactly what's been done and what's left.

It's not the way I'd necessarily have chosen, or even thought of on my own, but we've found it's a nice way to collaborate, communicate, and get things done.

PREP LIST

Morning Routines

• Breakfast
• empty dishwasher
• check bread
• clear stairs
• roomba dining room
  
• make all beds
• check calendar
• process inboxes/decide next actions for each item
  
• Create to do list (decide next actions to do today)
  

• shower (Amy) and wipe bathroom
• pick up master bedroom
  

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School Day	Off-School Day
School starts about 10 a.m. Lunch happens about 12:30 p.m. School should be over between 2 and 3 p.m. Kids have free play after school UNLESS we have somewhere to go this evening Sawyer takes his long-ish afternoon nap around 2 or 3 p.m.	Special Chores after breakfast Bible and Music Practice after lunch

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Evening Routines

• Dinner (usually around 5:30)
  
• begin evening routine by 6 p.m. when possible (right after dinner) or by 3 p.m. if we have an evening activity away from home
  
• pick up boys' room
• clear floor in living room
• clean kitchen
  
• run dishwasher
• clear downstairs surfaces
  
• dining Room table
• end tables
• sofa console table
• computer table (contains computer, keyboard, Amy's inbox, napkins)
• mantle
  
• bathe children (all 3)
• Think through tomorrow and pack bags or lunches if necessary
  
• shower (Mike) and wipe bathroom
• Children read around 8:30, lay down to sleep around 9